Divine Coincidence?

Boy, oh boy, you know old Pat Roberston is twitching up a storm down in his plush Tidewater television studio. He’s looking at the headlines, too -- hey, that crazy guy who tried to assassinate the Pope (in 1981), who is a Turk, has just been let out of jail. THAT, while the Bird Flu is bubbling to a boil in Turkey, a whole damn country named after what else? -- a bird!

So far Robertson has yet to weigh in on this obvious case of divine coincidence. However, he did issue an explanation for his recent controversial statements about two heads of state:

"OK, heh, heh, maybe I should've suggested Chavez just needed to be slapped around, a little bit," said Robertson. "But on Sharon, hey, the stroke was strictly God's idea. When He asked me what to do about Sharon turning into a wuss, well, I said maybe give him a ba-a-ad sinus headache, scout's honor. Hey, God does the smiting, not me!"

Note: The above attempt at satirical humor, altered photo included, is not meant to scare anyone. Please don’t take it seriously, unless you must.