All Dick, all the time

Cheney: Here’s the deal, Dubya, my boy, you give this speech. Hey, listen up, you’ve read it, right?

Bush: Of course I have, Dick, but who’s going to buy this, this business about a surge ...”

Cheney: Listen up. Congress will swell up, take the bait, and move to block funding for the surge. A few traitor Republicans will throw in with the Democrats. We’ll take care of them later.

Bush: You’re right, Dick, this is a surly new bunch that’s come in, especially that Webb. How in hell did he win?

Cheney: Shut up!

Bush: Right.

Cheney: Don’t you see, we want the Democrats to pull this. They will be trying to tie the hands of a valiant Commander-in-Chief, during wartime. The Average Joe will hate that. Our Christian conservatives will...

Bush: Oh, I like it. I bet Karl thought of this.

Cheney: Shut up! Listen. That will create a first-class feeding frenzy of a Constitutional Crisis, because you’re still the one and only Commander-in-Chief -- during a war -- and you’ll jolly well do as you see fit. Eventually, it will take the Supreme Court to settle it.

Bush: Dick, what about the ... what about the technicality that there’s been no declaration of war, from...

Cheney: Shut up! Dubya, please stop trying to think. You know that only makes you want to catch a buzz. Just listen...

Bush: Oh, I bet this little ... this little plan of Karl’s, and yours, too ... it could tie up the whole town for a couple of years.

Cheney: Very good, Dubya, that is the point.

Bush: Right, Dick ... I get it.

*

Art (and text) by F.T. Rea.
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Note: The transcript of the scene above may have been leaked to SLANTblog by imbedded White House, fly-on-the-wall sources that must remain anonymous. They may have risked lives to spirit it out. However, in order to publish this material -- in good faith -- it must be said there’s more than a small chance the aforementioned sources never existed. So, we did the best we could, anyway.