Friday, May 21, 2010

Top five reasons for more offshore drilling

How about a Top Five list of what the steeped-in-denial, armed-to-the-teeth Drill Baby Drill crowd will eventually say to try to make more drilling with less regulation seem appropriate, and to put the slippery blame for the unfolding oil-leak disaster where they please.

  • It was the federal regulators' fault. Get rid of regulation and it won't happen again.
  • It was a once-in-100-years, perfect storm of boo-boos. Couldn't happen again and won't, because BP will pay all legitimate claims for damages, so the marketplace will fix everything.
  • It happened because Muslims charge too much for their oil, trying to make America go broke. So, they forced us to dig for oil in difficult places. From now on America should simply confiscate any oil it needs from Middle Eastern Muslim countries ... at least from those countries that aren't one of America's allies.
  • The spill was sabotage. But it wasn't done by the North Koreans in a mini-sub (as was first suggested by right-wingers). No-o-o, it was done by an elite Greenpeace swat team secretly working for the Obama White House. The DBDers will say when the Kenya-born Obama spoke favorably about offshore drilling possibilities, just before the ongoing oil spill, it was just to fake us out. Why? Obama, ever the socialist, is planning to use this catastrophe to nationalize the oil industry. Then, of course, he'll confiscate all handguns, and ...
OK, dear reader: Help me out here. How about a suggestion to complete this list of five?

2 comments: said...

It's in the bible. Seriously. "An eye for an eye..."

That mean old sea bed is spewing oil and natural gas at us we should just poke it back, and poke it and poke it and poke it.

(wonder how much poking will make up for the most damaging ecological disaster in history, other than that meteor that killed the dinosaurs, but i digress...)


A. Jing Lothario said...

Don't think Gaia's revenge will fly with the Palin fundi crowd but I'm sure The "Wrath of God" on the heathens of New Orleans can get traction again.