GOP Used Cars

The salesman stood up and said to the customer, “If that’s your best offer, I’ll take it to my manager and see what he says.”

The customer looked out of the window at the nine-year-old used car he had just test driven. Yes, $5,000 was a little over his budget, but if he could get the car for that price he’d take it. He called his wife to tell her that the search for a reliable vehicle for their daughter, to use while she's away at college, was over.

The salesman was back in two minutes. “The manager is out to lunch, but the assistant manager says we haven’t sold one car yet today. Since you're new in town and we'd like to continue selling you more cars down the road, he said he’ll take your offer.”

“Fine,” said the customer, putting his cell phone back in his pocket.

Of course, for that price, we’ll have to take that fancy stereo out of it, said the salesman. “For no charge, we’ll stick an ordinary radio in it for you.”

“Hey!” said they customer, “That stereo was part of why I picked that particular car. My daughter loves music, and...”

“Sorry, but the stereo system in it now is probably worth $700, maybe $800,” said the salesman. If you could go to say, $5,500, I can probably leave it like it is.”

“OK,” said the customer, "I’ll split the difference with you -- $5,250.”

“You’re killing me,” said the salesman with a practiced chuckle. “We better get this written up and approved before the manager gets back. The assistant manager is a pal of mine.”

Then, almost like it was on cue, the salesman’s desk phone rang. He picked up the receiver and said, “Yo.”

A few seconds later the salesman said, "Yeah, $5,250 ... uh, OK.” Then he hung up and told the customer the manager had returned. A minute later the customer could hear three men arguing in the manager’s office. Then the salesman returned with a sheepish expression on his face.

Gradually, over the next hour the salesman kept coming up with ways to boost the price of the car up, again and again. Finally the customer agreed to $5,975, only if there were no more changes in the price and all the parts on the car would remain in place. He wrote the check and shook hands with the salesman, who offered to have a guy in the shop drive the customer’s car home for him. That way the customer could take his purchase with him.

When the customer got outside all four tires on the car he had just bought were flat. After some angry words were exchanged, it cost him $25 -- in cash! -- to have the tires re-inflated. When he got home, he told his wife the salesman was the worst chiseler he'd ever dealt with. Then there was some more yelling...

Obviously, that poor, new-in-town customer was a total rube. He simply didn't know that’s how they do all their deals down at GOP Used Cars.