Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Thanks to Ann Coulter's fans

Ann Coulter doesn’t bother me much. Neither does Rush Limbaugh. I consider them both to be entertainers. To me, they are rightwing comedians, so I laugh when one of them says something funny, which doesn’t seem all that often. But to their most avid fans, they are modern Dorothy Parkers and William F. Buckleys, brilliant and witty wordsmiths.

Well, I disagree. I say they are closer to being wannabe Roseanne Barrs and Sam Kinisons, but not as funny.

Still, Coulter manages to promote herself so effectively that she stays in the news. And, I have to say that I‘m glad. What follows is an open thank you note to Coulter’s noisy groupies telling them why:

Convinced that Republicans are right and Democrats are wrong, no matter what, you resent it when anyone even challenges that premise. So, you admire Ann Coulter for her lowbrow commentary on matters political. No matter what she says, you back her up. You even find her attractive!

Convinced that Americans are somehow better than people who live in other countries, you resent it when their leaders don’t just accept that premise, shut up and do as they are told. You loathe Palestinians, Iranians and Syrians, but somehow, Saudis are cool. At least for Muslims, they’re cool.

You happily forgive members of the Bush administration -- including President George Bush -- for their lies during the run-up to the invasion of Iraq, and for their subsequent lies to cover-up the falsified evidence of weapons of mass destruction, etc. You think Vice President Dick Cheney and his aide, convicted liar Scooter Libby, are patriots who are entitled to prevaricate, because they do so to win a war.

You loathe Sen. John McCain and Sen. John Warner for being disloyal RINOs (Republicans in name only), because they won’t stick with the failed neoconservative program in every way. That, in spite of the widespread respect they command

You loathe Sen. Jim Webb for having opposed the invasion of Iraq, and for having the temerity to suggest there’s a better way to deal with the civil war now underway in Iraq. You happily chirp that he and other vets opposing the Bush war policy are total sissies.

You want to teach creationism in public schools, as if it is equal in weight to science. You suspect New Orleans might have gotten what it deserved from Hurricane Katrina, a la Pat Robertson, for having too many homosexuals living there.

You loathe former Vice President Al Gore for agreeing with the scientists saying pollution is changing the climate. You believe he is just saying all that because he hates capitalism and wants to raise your taxes.

So I have to say thanks. The Big Tent that Ronald Reagan built with his charm and optimism has finally been pulled apart. Last year Coulter certainly did her part to help turn control of Congress over to the Democrats, as her blind-to-reality, attack dog style grossed out many young first-time voters. They will probably remain Democrats for a long time.

Since you believe that changing your mind is a sign of weakness, I know you’ll keep helping. Thanks, again.

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