Thursday, April 07, 2011

Measuring Trump for a straitjacket


Donald Trump got on another cable television news show. Once again, he was wearing that orange wig-hat thing on his head, but the interviewer didn‘t ask about it. I don’t remember who the interviewer was, but it always strikes me as odd that no one asks Trump questions about what it is, or why he wears it.

Trump was asked why he has chosen to become such a high-visibility Birther. He answered, “I have teams of investigators working in Hawaii and Kenya, as we speak, to determine where Obama was born. That, and who, or what, his parents really were.”

The interviewer said, “Huh?”

“Obama has yet to prove he’s human,” said The Donald, with the practiced smile of a man accustomed to getting his way.

The interviewer pressed on: “Are you suggesting the president could be an animal ... or perhaps an extraterrestrial?”

“Well,” said Trump leaning forward and narrowing his eyes, “either way, or both. After 9/11 it became much more difficult for animals and extraterrestrials to get valid birth certificates."

“Both?" said the interviewer. "Could President Obama be the offspring of an unholy union between an extraterrestrial and an animal?”

“If he is,” said Trump, “that would explain a lot. It could well be a clue as to why nobody remembers ever seeing him on Earth before the summer of 2004, when he appeared from nowhere to address the Democrat convention in Boston.”

“How’s that?” asked the interviewer, egging Trump on.

“I have a team of investigators working in Chicago to find out where the surgery was performed to remove his tail and the third eye in the back of his head,” said Trump with a chuckle.

The chuckle must have startled the fluffy thing on Trump's head, because it quivered. Trump grabbed it to hold it still and chuckled again. That woke me from my dream.

No more cold pizza for me after midnight.

No comments: