Thursday, December 31, 2009

Malamud on expectations

"...She stroked his brow slowly with her fingers.

'What happened fifteen years ago, Roy?'

Roy felt like crying, yet he told her -- the first one he ever had. 'I was just a kid and I got shot by this batty dame on the night before my tryout, and after that I just couldn't get started again. I lost my confidence and everything I did flopped.'

He said this was the shame of his life, that his fate, somehow, had always been the same (on the train going nowhere) -- defeat in sight of his goal."

-- from "The Natural" (1952) by Bernard Malamud

Fitzgerald on considering a decade

“…Now once more the belt is tight and we summon the proper expression of horror as we look back at our wasted youth. Sometimes, though, there is a ghostly rumble among the drums, an asthmatic whisper in the trombones that swings me back into the early twenties when we drank wood alcohol and every day in every way grew better and better, and there was a first abortive shortening of the skirts, and girls all looked alike in sweater dresses, and people you didn’t want to know said ‘Yes, we have no bananas,’ and it seemed only a question of a few years before the older people would step aside and let the world be run by those who saw things as they were — and it all seems rosy and romantic to us who were young then, because we will never feel quite so intensely about our surroundings any more.”

– from “Echoes of the Jazz Age” (1931) by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Un-Wildering in 2009

A new piece I wrote about Richmond's year in politics is up at Richmond.com.
...Former-Mayor Doug Wilder delighted in the constant attention he earned from the working press during his four years in office. As mayor, in 2009, Jones has been nearly as quiet and invisible as Wilder was omnipresent. In that respect, Richmonders have lived through a year in which they experienced a noteworthy reduction in overcooked drama and raw bombast. Still, are we better off than we were a year ago?
Click here to read the entire OpEd.

Monday, December 28, 2009

SLANTblog's VA Top Five: Dec. 28

Each Monday morning during the rest of the men's college basketball regular season, SLANTblog will publish its new Virginia Top Five. For the third consecutive season it will attempt to rank what seems at the moment to be the best five from among the 14 Division I programs in the Commonwealth. Only games against Division I opponents are counted in won/loss records.

SLANTblog's VA Top Five


1. Wm. & Mary (7-2, 1-0 in CAA, No. 7 RPI)
2. VCU (7-2, 0-1 in CAA, No. 9 RPI)
3. Richmond (10-3, 0-0 in A-10, No. 24 RPI)
4. Va. Tech (10-1, 0-0 in ACC, No. 67 RPI)
5. ODU (8-4, 1-0 in CAA, No. 34 RPI)

-- RPI numbers, which are updated frequently, from CBS Sports

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Aughts: Awash in Scams

As the last 10 years has been an era in which fake has too frequently been admired as better than real, it's also been a decade awash in scams.

Isn't that a fair way to characterize the aughts? After all, the decade began with the Y2K hoax that had people believing the computer world was going seize up. So-called "reality TV," a totally contrived genre of entertainment, has dominated television ratings. Over the last ten years who hasn't received a ton of emails crying for help in getting money out of Nigeria? Or, about winning lotteries they never entered?

Remember the hunt for weapons of mass destruction that launched the war in Iraq? Remember Enron? Remember the federal government's phony investigation of the anthrax-in-the-mail crimes? Remember Sen. Larry Craig's wide stance? Remember former-Sen. John Edwards' pious talk about Two America's? Remember the sworn juicing denials of bloated baseball stars, such as Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire and Roger Clemons?

What about the lineup of greedy chumps who believed in the investments wizardry of Bernie Madoff? And, to cap it off, what did it take for everyone to have believed in pitchman Tiger Woods' flawless image?

What was in the Kool-Aid one had to swallow to have been shocked when it came out that yet another ridiculously wealthy pro athlete had been a randy dog with cocktail waitresses he met on the road?

Frank Rich writes entertainingly on this topic in his OpEd piece "Tiger Woods, Person of the Year."
If there’s been a consistent narrative to this year and every other in this decade, it’s that most of us, Bernanke included, have been so easily bamboozled. The men who played us for suckers, whether at Citigroup or Fannie Mae, at the White House or Ted Haggard’s megachurch, are the real movers and shakers of this century’s history so far. That’s why the obvious person of the year is Tiger Woods. His sham beatific image, questioned by almost no one until it collapsed, is nothing if not the farcical reductio ad absurdum of the decade’s flimflams, from the cancerous (the subprime mortgage) to the inane (balloon boy).
Click here to read it.

Perhaps the only thing left to say is, "Bah! Humbug!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Redskins in death spiral

This season SLANTblog has mostly avoided mentioning the Washington Redskins. They've played such pathetic football I haven't felt moved to give voice to the way I've been feeling about the team I've rooted for since I was a kid. The 'Skins were terrible in the late-'50s and early-'60s, so I can take it. But I haven't had to write about it.

Until now.

Watching the Redskins performance against the New York Giants has forced on me an undeniable need to do a little venting: Alas, with two games remaining in the season the Redskins appear poised to establish a new standard in the all-time laughing stock of the league department. They have the Dallas Cowboys coming to DeeCee next; then a trip to San Diego will cap off the season.

There's no reason to even hope Washington will win either of those games. The best 'Skins fans can hope for is that none of the players who will be on the team next year get hurt in two games that are beyond meaningless. Then again, maybe none of them will be back.

That might set another new record, to go with that laughingstock thing. Has any front office ever fired all of its players in an off-season?

Redskins owner (since 1999) Daniel Snyder has created a perfect storm of chaos. This version of football chaos is beyond Jeff George, with his worst deer-in-the-headlights look.

The ordeal The Danny has put his head coach Jim Zorn through this year has been especially ugly. Finally, it all came crashing down last night as Washington lost badly at home to division-rival New York, 45-12.

The game was nowhere near as close as the score might suggest. At least half of the Washington players quit. It appeared they just stopped caring. The others, who still wanted to play the game, perhaps out of personal pride, were in a dangerous situation. They could no longer count on some of their teammates to even make an effort to carry out their assignments properly.

Sounds dangerous, doesn't it? It was. And, from here on it will be. So, Bruce Allen being on board for the last three games of the season isn't likely to prove all that useful. Evaluating talent in such a mess won't be easy.

Eventually, hiring Allen as the general manager of the franchise may look good. But bringing him in at this point, just when the team had started to play well, was stupid. It created a disruption that destroyed the positive momentum the coaches and players had established in the last month of steady improvement.

What Snyder can't take away from longtime Redskins fans is the sense of pride that used to exist at RFK, when we knew it was the toughest place on visiting teams in the NFL. I saw a few Monday night games at RFK in the '70s and '80s. Saw Ken Houston stop Walt Garrison short of the goal line in '73.

Glad I've never been at a game when the Redskins played like they did last night. And, Snyder is a perfect example of one of the worst things about raw and capricious capitalism -- it has created too many characters the likes of him. And, it gives such pissants too much power over other people's lives.

The week leading up to a Dallas game at RFK used to be special. The games mattered, perhaps more than they should have. As much as a half-hour before the game started fired-up fans would chant, "We want Dallas!"

Now Redskins fans just want the season in a death spiral to end. This year Snyder is the Grinch would stole the Redskins self esteem.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Drinkin' Wine Spo Dee O Dee



Jerry Lee Lewis' version of "Drinkin' Wine Spo Dee O Dee."

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

-- Henny Youngman

SLANTblog's VA Top Five: Dec. 21

Each Monday morning during the rest of the men's college basketball regular season, SLANTblog will publish its new Virginia Top Five. For the third consecutive season it will attempt to rank what seems at the moment to be the best five from among the 14 Division I programs in the Commonwealth. Only games against Division I opponents are counted in won/loss records.

SLANTblog's VA Top Five


1. Wm. & Mary (6-2, 1-0 in CAA, No. 14 RPI)
2. VCU (7-2, 0-1 in CAA, No. 19 RPI.)
3. Richmond (8-3, 0-0 in A-10, No. 21 RPI)
4. Va. Tech (9-1, 0-0 in ACC, No. 49 RPI)
5. ODU (7-4, 1-0 in CAA, No. 56 RPI)

-- RPI numbers, which are updated frequently, from CBS Sports.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Louis Ledford



Louis Ledford's band Used Charlotta played at the Biograph Theatre's 30th anniversary bash at Poe's Pub in 2002. Also on the bill were Page Wilson with Reckless Abandon and The (Burnt) Taters. With the short films between sets it was quite a show.

Since then Louis has moved to New Orleans. Still, he was in Richmond last month. Here's evidence.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Want a 2010 SLANT calendar?

Been doing calendars since the mid-'90s. Here's this year's model. It costs $5.00 for one. Each print is hand-tinted. It's 11" by 17" on heavy cardstock. (Click on the image to enlarge it.)

Looking for a few cheap, last-minute gifts? Five of them go for $20.00, if you come and get 'em, or I can deliver them in the Fan/Carytown area). Or, add whatever it costs for me to mail five or more of them to you. Or, I'll send you the file, you print them out and send the dough to me by check, or PayPal.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Lieberman Socks

This video (click here) may act as a balm, if you're having a hard time coping with Sen. Joe Lieberman, these days. If there is a face on the frustration millions of citizens who voted Democratic last year are feeling it is Lieberman's. The cynicism his high-profile game is sowing will probably discourage some young voters, who were energized by last year's campaign.

But there's nothing new about Lieberman's antics. Like many a politician before him, he is serving his master well. And, it's easy enough to see Lieberman's mission -- to kill health care reform this year -- has everything to do with perpetuating a system that funnels large money toward that master.

Now Joe "What, me care?" Liberman is orchestrating a windfall for insurance companies, to take the place of the hope America's workers had that dependable health care be available for a fair price.

-- H/T to Katey

Cerrato kaput!

It gives me great pleasure to pass on this news -- Vinny Cerrato, front office boss for the Washington Redskins has resigned.
Executive vice president of football operations Vinny Cerrato, owner Dan Snyder's right-hand man for much of the last decade, quit with three games remaining in a season in which his personnel choices again came under heavy scrutiny.
Click here to read the AP story.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

What, Me Care?

Joe "What, Me Care?" Lieberman

-- 'Toon by F.T. Rea

The Aughts:

A new piece I wrote that looks back at the aughts, 2000-2009, is up at Richmond.com.
Throttle Magazine ended its 20 years of publishing with the passing of the century. Since then we have lived through a time during which technology has rocked the world of publishing. Online ‘zines, such as Richmond.com, paved the new way, then came Richmond’s blogosphere and more recently newer forms of social media.

Today even the most stubborn of Luddites has a cell phone, even if they haven‘t joined the Facebook and Twitter crowd.
Click here to read "The Aughts: A Decade of Storms and Hype."

Sunday, December 13, 2009

SLANTblog's VA Top Five

Fresh for each Monday morning during the rest of the men's college basketball regular season, SLANTblog will publish its new Virginia Top Five. For the third consecutive season it will attempt to rank what seems at the moment to be the best five from among the 14 Division I programs in the Commonwealth.

In spite of past abuses, comments are still welcomed.

SLANTblog's VA Top Five


1. Wm. & Mary (6-2, 1-0 in CAA, No. 18 RPI)
2. VCU (6-2, 0-1 in CAA, No. 19 RPI)
3. Va. Tech (8-1, 0-0 in ACC, No. 45 RPI)
4. Richmond (7-2, 0-0 in A-10, No. 35 RPI)
5. ODU (6-4, 1-0 in CAA, No. 108 RPI)

Click here to read "Rams over Spiders, again" at the Fan District Hub.

-- RPI numbers, which are updated frequently, from CBS Sports.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Snyder is City Paper's 'Unsportsman'

Justice for The Danny: The woeful Washington Redskins (3-9) owner Dan Snyder has won the Washington City Paper's "Unsportsman of the Year Award."
Our news hole isn’t big enough to relive all the bad moves—such transcendent Snyder deeds as the public emasculation of Jim Zorn and the broke-grandmother lawsuit are left out—but here are a few of the horrors Snyder unleashed on our community in these last 12 months.
Click here to read the entire article by Dave McKenna

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

1990 Flashback: Mondo Softball



The video promo above ran on local television in 1990. The voice heard is that of Gayle Carson (now Hudert). She was my girlfriend at the time. The article below, by Paul Woody, which appeared in Richmond's then-afternoon daily's sports section, was about the cable TV show being promoted in the 30-second spot.

Among other things, Mondo Softball was a spoof of ESPN's SportsCenter. My on-camera sidekick was Paul Joyce. I produced the show and hosted it in-character as Mutt De Ville. It was a viewer call-in program that lasted for one softball season, then it moved to radio. Unfortunately, the video highlights segment -- including the blooper of the week -- shot by cameraman Fritz Truffaut, didn't go over as well on radio.

*
REA GIVES BIZARRE EDGE TO BLAB'S `MONDO SOFTBALL'
by Paul Woody (Richmond News Leader, July 5, 1990)
Years ago when Terry Rea was manager of the now defunct Biograph Theatre, he organized a softball team for the Fan League.

But this wasn't just any team. This team had two illegal French aliens.

"One spoke no English at all," Rea said. "Neither had ever seen a baseball game. But they went out to a yard sale, found some funky `50s uniforms and they were a laugh riot."

The Biograph team also had a life-size, cardboard figure of Mr. Natural, a comic-book character created by R. Crumb of Zap Comics. Rea and his teammates took Mr. Natural to every game. They would carry him onto the field and chant to him.

"Some thought it was funny," Rea said. "Some thought we were mocking them. Some thought we were mocking the game."

All Rea was trying to do was enjoy a little softball and make the team and the league, "a rolling comedy show," he said. "I'm not sure everybody on the team was 100 percent behind me on that."

Rea began playing softball in 1976, but now, at the age of 42, he's in semi-retirement. "I try in the offseason to lower my expectations, but I'm losing my game faster than I can lower my expectations," Rea said.

Rea, however, is hardly done with softball. In fact, he may be contributing more to the game than he ever did as a player. Rea, a freelance graphic artist by trade, is the originator, host and creative force behind "Mondo Softball," a weekly, one-hour talk and call-in show seen Tuesday nights at 9 o'clock on BLAB-TV (Continental Ch. 7, Storer Ch. 8).

Mondo is Italian for "world." Rea took it from the drive-in movies of his youth that were all the rage.

"There were a bunch of `Mondo' films," Rea said. "Then, you started to see it thrown in front of almost anything to give it a bizarre connotation. People just know it has some sort of bizarre edge to it. "And, of course, I'm using that."

Rea isn't the host of "Mondo Softball."

The host is Mutt deVille, a man of mysterious origin who always wears a baseball cap, sunglasses and softball jersey. Mutt deVille is Rea's alter ego. Mutt deVille was created by Rea as a pen name for the sports writer in Slant, the twice-monthly newsletter of commentary that Rea publishes, writes and edits.

DeVille initially existed to give some diversity to the pages of Slant, "and to create the illusion there was a staff of writers," Rea said.. But the more Rea wrote as deVille, the more he liked it.

"My name, and my approach to things, like anyone who stays in his hometown long enough, carries a certain amount of baggage with it," Rea said. "I could move more freely as Mutt deVille.

"When I decided to do a show and it was a sports show, it seemed like a good idea to use Mutt. That led to the idea that Mutt should become a character and the time I was on camera should be a performance. Mutt is a device to make me feel at ease on stage."

"Mondo Softball" is not like any other show you'll see on BLAB. It's a one-hour play, softball as kitsch. It's part news -- standings, results and tournament highlights provided by Paul Joyce, the `field' reporter and a veteran local player -- part conversation with a guest, questions from callers and wisecracks, subtle humor and outright gags whenever possible. It's clever, and it's as entertaining as a show on recreational softball can be.

Rea said he has borrowed from shows he's seen. From the "Tonight Show," Rea took the idea that Johnny Carson is at his best and funniest when things go wrong.

"Part of live TV is that there are a lot of glitches," Rea said. "I've tried to incorporate the production values of an old `50s sci-fi movie and try to go with whatever goes wrong."

Each week, there is a great uproar over the magic word. If a caller says the word, he or she receives a $20 gift certificate from a local restaurant. The magic word is straight out of "You Bet Your Life" with the late Groucho Marx. In that show, it was called the secret word.

"If you're going to steal, steal from the best," Rea said.

Part of the attraction of "Mondo Softball" is that you can never be sure what will happen next.

"I think some people watch shows on BLAB just to see if the set will fall over," Rea said.

Rea brings a unique element of surprise to the screen. He isn't afraid to take a chance or play a little joke. When he was manager of the Biograph, a repertory theatre located near Virginia Commonwealth University, Rea once offered free admission to "The Devil and Miss Jones."

The line for the show, which most believed to be a well-known X-rated movie, stretched around the 800 block of West Grace Street. But the X-rated movie was "The Devil in Miss Jones." "The Devil and Miss Jones" was a 1941 comedy.

"Most people thought it was funny," Rea said. "But you always have some who get mad about something like that."

"Mondo Softball" has something of the same problem. Hard-core softball players don't always appreciate Rea's attempts at humor.

"I've heard some don't like Mutt's approach," Rea said. "But that's the reason Paul is there. Overall, though, the reaction I get is that they (the hardcore players) like Mutt."

BLAB-TV likes Mutt so much that another show already is in the works. "Mondo Pops," covering everything from sports to who knows what will premier this fall.

It should be an interesting experience. Who knows, maybe even Mr. Natural will make an appearance.

* * *

Monday, December 07, 2009

Fan Tacky Flashback

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 1

Since everybody in the publishing game in Richmond recycles their Tacky Lights Tour articles each holiday season, here's a flashback to a four-year-old SLANTblog post. It still works. Bogart's has moved. The rest of it works for any year.


*

DEC. 17, 2005: Writing for the Richmond Times-Dispatch in 1996 Bill McKelway offered readers a brief history of a seasonal tradition in Richmond since 1986, when the Tacky Lights Tour was launched by its creator, Barry "Mad Dog" Gottlieb.
...His fondest memories will be of the outpouring of interest when the tacky house tour began 10 years ago. "I figured I could rent one of those trolleys for about 15 people," said Gottlieb. "That filled up right away. Then I rented a bus and that filled up in an hour. Then I rented another bus and that filled up."

At one house decked out in blue lights, tour members spontaneously broke into Elvis' "Blue Christmas." At another house, they marveled at the lifelike figures on the roof wrapped in lights. "After a while, we realized that the lifelike figures were real people," Gottlieb said, laughing.
The tour of way lit up houses still goes on, although Gottlieb moved to San Francisco nine years ago. This year a group of local bicycle enthusiasts in the Fan District did their own lights tour, a knockoff of a more urban persuasion than the original, which usually focuses on the efforts of crazed suburbanites determined to outdo one another in pure wattage.

Back in 1989, or maybe it was 1990, yours truly was one of four, maybe five judges, for Mad Dog's annual stunt. We rode around in a limousine drinking beer, looking at houses made up to resemble amusement parks, or perhaps houses of ill fame in a Fellini film. I remember the all-blue-lights house that McKelway mentioned in his piece (which is a good read).

It was by far the smallest house on the list. To me it was a little creepy, too, so I stayed in the limo while the others went in.

Barry greatly enjoyed meeting the people, getting their stories and so forth. Some he already knew because he saw them every year, others were new. At the end of the tour we judges voted and may have gone to a bar.

After that same night, I came to see that stretch limos were just not for me. Although I enjoyed my chance to judge tackiness, I’m happy to report I haven’t been in one since then.

The photo essay that follows is my effort to get in the Christmas spirit. It is made up of a series of stills I shot in the twilight today, on my way to happy hour at the Baja Bean. Ho! Ho! Ho! It's a SLANT exclusive -- The Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour 2005:

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 2

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 3

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 4

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 5

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 6

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 7

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 8

Fan Tacky Walk to Happy Hour, No. 9