Thursday, October 14, 2004

Over There

by F. T. Rea

President George W. Bush has warned the voters that his opponent, Sen. John Kerry, is not tough enough to face down America's most dangerous enemies. In stump speeches Bush repeatedly has said that he will not "wilt" or "waver" in prosecuting the War on Terror, the suggestion being that Kerry lacks the manly rigidity it takes to act decisively in matters of national defense.

For example, it was President Bush who swelled up to protect America from Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) by having him snatched off of an airplane in Bangor, Maine and promptly deported. On the other hand, Kerry probably listened to Cat Stevens' wimpy pop music when he and the comely but commie-coddling Jane Fonda were smoking banana peels.

It seems the sitting president's boldness to protect America is boundless. So, too, is his subtle shrewdness. Both traits are well illustrated by Bush's trumpeted assertion that he would rather fight the terrorists over there than here. "Over there" meaning Iraq, and "here" meaning the USA. By invading Iraq -- for whatever reason, like, who cares? -- now, if we squint just right, we can see that Bush has created what amounts to a siphon to draw out terrorists from wherever they have been hiding and sucker them into whatever it is that's going on in Iraq.

Who knew it would be so easy to trick al Qaida sleeper cell operatives into throwing off their secret identities and long-planned missions in cities the likes of Buffalo, Fresno, and Tupelo to book passage to Iraq, so they could fight America over there?

President George W. Bush, that's who.

Would a wind-surfing John Kerry have been willing to launch a war on false claims, over the objections of most of our allies, in order to cleanse America of all the potential crop-duster-stealing, anthrax-mailing, power plant-sabotaging, water supply-poisoning, dirty bomb-exploding, suicide mission cats that were hiding in our midst?

Because the quagmire in Iraq is getting bloodier by the minute, the potential to draw every terrorist in the world -- regardless of his creed or cause -- into the fray is growing. Would a President Kerry be willing to spend enough of whatever it takes to keep the battle in Iraq going long enough to snooker all the terrorists into leaving Afghanistan, Japan, Russia, Israel, Ireland, Indonesia and Idaho to fight an American army waiting for them over there?

Where to fight is the key.

Young John Kerry apparently misunderstood where to fight the Vietnam War, as well. Looking to win medals, he traipsed off to Vietnam. While the visionary George Bush opted fly beneath the radar to smoke-out the Viet Cong operatives possibly hiding in Texas and Alabama. Bush was even willing to disappear for a while for an off-the-record mission that was apparently so secret he still won't talk about it.

With less than a month until election day it's important to remember that both Texas and Alabama made it through America's longest war unscathed by communist terrorism. As an undergraduate at Yale Bush learned what would prove to be a valuable lesson about war, while serving proudly as a varsity cheerleader: Some games must be played on the road, others are best played at home.

Ever the stalwart cheerleader, it was Bush who bravely donned a flight suit, stuffed a King James version of the Bible into his jock strap, faced the pitiless cameras, and declared, "Bring it on!"

Which now we know must have sounded something like this to the terrorists -- Hey, all you evil-doers! Drop whatever you're doing in this country. Go to Iraq and blow up anything you like. Yes, cut off some heads, scare American voters out of their wits, and my reelection will be assured.

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